Can I Help You Get Over Your Break Up?

Hi, I’m Rob McPhillips and I don’t want to beat around the bush or waste time. You’re here because you want to get over your break up as quick as you can.  I’m here to help.  So let’s get to it!

Me, and my oversized ego, have the audacity to think we can be of use. That’s because I’ve spent most of the last three decades helping people in similar situations.  I’ve worked with hundreds of people in various situations.

  • People getting over break ups.
  • People that are unhappy in their relationship… wanting to fix things or deciding whether to get out of it.
  • Feeling lost, directionless or without purpose.
  • Feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
  • Lacking confidence, motivation and self-esteem
  • And many more specific situations.

Recently, I’ve decided to work on identifying the milestones along the path from problem to solution.  Though we and our circumstances are all unique, there is a common thread to all successful paths.  I am looking to understand the common key milestones we all have to go through.  Then I can help to guide people though these so that they have a smoother, faster process.

Joseph Campbell identified the Hero’s Journey.  This is the common structure behind all great stories.  However different they seem on the surface.   This framework fits stories as varied as;

  • Star Wars,
  • Harry Potter,
  • Bridget Jones,
  • Watership Down,
  • The Story of Jesus or Buddha
  • and even Finding Nemo.

In a similar way, I want to share the Hero’s path from;

  • heartbroken to happier than ever.
  • stressed to calm and centred.
  • from anxious to confident.

Sidenote

By Hero, I’m referring to someone that faces the challenges of life and overcomes them to reach their goal.

Why not Heroine?  Isn’t that sexist?

Very few people talk about Heroines.  I’m not here to quibble over the flaws and unfairness of our patriarchal systems.  I’m all about correcting the errors of thinking, including sexism and prejudice.  But I’m more concerned with the source of the thinking.  It’s this that becomes codified into words.  Rather than policing and correcting words.  And so I’m not concerned with the pedantary of he or she.

Likewise, for the topic of relationships and break ups, I also write as if I’m talking to a woman.  This is because about 70% of people who look for support and solutions to getting over a break up are female.  Statistics show that men would rather kill themselves than ask for help. And I’m being literal here.  Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 49.

So again rather than fighting the tide, I will be embracing the reality and addressing you as she. For the 30% of males reading this, I apologise. Consider yourself a Hero for overcoming society’s bias and please overlook my generalisation.  What I’m trying to communicate goes deeper than chromosomes.

Ok, so back to the real issue. You’ve got an open wound and I have a procedure that will heal you quicker.  And it will also make you heal stronger than you ever were.

I’ve looked around at what solutions are available.  If I thought there was something that worked I wouldn’t go to the bother of creating a solution that isn’t needed.  There are lots of books and bullshit ‘secret scripts’ that are going to win back your man.  But I haven’t found any solid and coherent process to grow through your suffering.

So, the big question, that quite honestly crippled me for years, is how to structure this and how much to charge?

The truth is, that this is my passion. Understanding people and mapping dynamics and solving problems. What drives me is understanding life and sharing what I’ve learned.   My decades of observing, puzzling and refining my thinking is a waste if I only apply that to my own life.  And I can’t evolve as fast as I want without lots of different problems and contexts to challenge me.

My insights and solutions are like children to me. Watch any parents of young children out in a public place. When people marvel at how bright and beautiful they are, the parents beam with pride. I’ve never once seen a parent that turns around and says ‘Thank you for appreciating my child. Sign here and for just £X you can continue to appreciate them for the next 45 minutes’

That would be ridiculous. What we love we share.

However…

There are also problems with giving stuff away freely.  While some of us like to talk and think of us all being light and loving spiritual beings… we live in a physical world.  A world with many screwed up financial values.

And so…

While we love the empowering spiritual woo woo stuff, people rarely donate.  Yet they’re happy to shell out £5,000 for the event that promises them a miracle they will only get if they pay.  And while reveling in warm wishes is great, it’s money that enables things in this world. Without an income there’s no progress and your children, like Dicken’s Tiny Tom starve.

Also…

Money is the greatest indicator of people’s value, attention and intention.

The fact we’ve taken a deep breath in and invested five grand means – even if only subconsciously;

  • we’re going to pay more attention
  • value the information more
  • and act on where we’ve spent most money.

Whereas, the heart based, free seminar will have us nodding our head and agreeing.  Yet, the information doesn’t really connect with the reality of our experience.  So we hold it as aspirational rather than action based.

So…

I’ve rambled on because I want to have a clear explanation of my strategy.  That is to marry both spectrums.  To create something that is both valued and given purely without greed.  Yet also is sustainable in that it enables me to continue to develop new solutions.

So here’s the way I’m going to be working going forward…

I will offer this solution in two ways.

The first is more like the usual way of offering a premium solution.

You pay the market rate.  I create for you the most transformative, impactful and life enhancing solution. It will be as fast, straight forward and smooth, as possible, for you to reach the destination you want.

For those that can’t afford or do not value it enough to pay full price.  There will always be a parallel path that is free and with no obligation.

However…

I do believe there should be an exchange of value.  Everyone has something to give.  Money is not the only currency.

So, I will always give priority to paying customers.  As it is those that firstly, show they value the solution most, and secondly that sustain the project.

Yet, given time in the earlier stages, I will work with Clients for free.  The exchange is that they document their journey.  Think reality tv show style.

My intention is to work with a few free Clients as I refine the course.  To use them as inspirational Case Studies that other people can learn from.

Obviously, I’m not wanting to embarrass anyone or make things awkward for anyone.  We can change names and edit more sensitive aspects. The aim is to be efficient in creating an ultimate solution and moving onto new areas.  I hope it’s clear that my intention with this is to provide a solution for everyone.

Of course, this is how I intend to operate.  Like all things though, truth reveals itself as life unfolds and I will adapt as I go.